White Moth Wisdom is the name I chose for a wellness practice. Here’s why…
In the winter of 2011, a friend and I spontaneously arrived at a yoga retreat in Texas North country. It was a thrilling weekend of sleeping under the stars without a tent, outdoor yoga, hula-hooping, and, making new friends by the fireside. I also found myself descend into a ‘Cave Without a Name’, where a shaman-lead drum ceremony directed us on a journey to find our power animal. Sounds different, right?
I thought so.
Of course, there was no denying what happened next. As I lay on the ground, deep in an ancient cave, hypnotized by the drumming, I experienced (I supposed, in my mind’s eye) a real journey. We were told that it was possible during this ceremony to find your ‘power animal’. This animal is the spirit ally and companion that has been with you since your birth – whether you know it or not- waiting for you to initiate contact again. A moth made contact with me.
My reaction was, “I must have done this wrong. Who get’s a moth for a power animal?” I wanted an eagle, a lion, or perhaps even a wise old owl. I came out of the cave shaken by the experience that felt so profound. My conscious mind began to reason how silly I was to believe it.
Moths are plentiful, during evenings, especially near windows and by lights; which is where I spotted this one. It was whiter than I had ever noticed a moth to be. I took this picture. I reflected on my shamanic moment.
A few months later, this Luna moth was hanging right outside a cottage where my husband and I were staying while we were at a wedding in Vermont…the WHOLE weekend. It didn’t move, even when I tried to pet it. Hmmm…that’s another moth.
During this time, I was in a state of discernment about how to use the years of herbal education I was deeply invested in. I knew I had found something that I was passionate about. The more I learned, the more I wanted share this knowledge. The only thing that came between creating a natural wellness practice and becoming an herbalist was my own self-doubt.
In the meantime, my 87 year-old mother who lived alone in an apartment on our farm was complaining of feeling dizzy and unwell. She went to several doctors who found nothing wrong with her. On August 21, 2012, I came up my driveway and saw this white deer. Or at least, the whitest deer I have ever seen. As you can see, he even allowed me to take his picture. It is awesome when a wild animal stops and gazes at you. I felt there was a message. I read about a Native American Indian practice that when someone saw a white animal the whole tribe would stop whatever they were doing and have a ceremony to honor the sighting. To them it was a sign that there was a shift, a change about to happen.
The day after this sighting, my mother was diagnosed with a brain tumor. She died 29 days later.
A couple of years went by, and as I continued to study and create the practice I dreamt of, one thing was constant, self-doubt. I fabricated so many reasons why I was not able to manifest my dream.
So the universe reminded me yet again. In the spring of 2014, my son had been working in Australia for about six months before looking for a job after college. His location was remote. We barely spoke due to the time difference. The WIFI connection he had was very unreliable. I got a videotext from him one day out of the blue. “Mom! Check out the size of the bugs here in Australia!” Click Here to watch the video.
My son was completely unaware of the name I decided I would use for a wellness practice.
I have no doubts any longer. For me, it took several years and lots of nudges from the universe to embrace the idea, and the name fully.
There were many other ‘sightings’ and signs that I am moving in the right direction. I recognize that a moth is a perfect symbol for my work. In order to create wellness and manifest healing, a person can create change if they follow the moth journey. In it’s life, a moth seeks only light; which represents the knowledge needed to know how to heal our problems. The moth moves swiftly. In creating good new habits and healing ourselves we need to MOVE…sometimes quickly, sometimes gently. Movement is the key. And of course the peak of the moths life is when it transforms from a creature that crawls to a creature that flies. It can feel that way when we finally have the answers to heal ourselves. We can free ourselves of imbalance and pain in our bodies, and we can fly!
Before my mother died, she gave all five of my brothers and sisters one or two envelopes of things she saved that were particular to each of us. I have looked at first drawings, cards, report cards, pictures, etc that were in my envelope over the years. I found myself looking at these treasures recently and I came upon something my mother saved. I was 6 or 7 years old and I apparently found this printed napkin the perfect gift for my father. I guess your power animal can be with you all of your life…you just have to notice.